


Finding the light

by bonniedog



Category: Welcome to Night Vale, wtnv
Genre: Blood, Desert Bluffs, Drugs, Hallucinations, Kidnapping, Mind Control, Strexcorp, posession, strexcorp synernists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4366268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonniedog/pseuds/bonniedog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strexcorp lost Night Vale once, and they're determined not to let it happen again. The missing link was the radio host- Cecil will participate- once he knows they have his Carlos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding the light

Everything hurt.

Cecil shifted awake from his uncomfortable semi-sleep leaning against the cold marble wall, which he had spent the night propped on, unable to fully lay down due to the painful metal handcuffs chaining his hands behind him and to the wall. The movement and subsequent groans of pain woke the only other person in the room- his beloved scientist: his Carlos.

Though he was beyond grateful for his love’s company, he wished more than anything that he was home safe, instead of locked in the literal hell that was Strexcorp Synernists incorporated.

His usually perfect hair was tangled and crusted partially in blood, as were both his and Cecil’s clothes, neither of them sure how much of it was their own. There was little way to tell how long they’d been down in the dungeon-like room, due to the lack of windows, but to Cecil it’d felt like an eternity. He couldn’t even escape from this awful reality for a few moments with the omnipotence his third eye brought him, as the Strex workers had sewed it shut soon after they were kidnapped. Cecil cringed at the memory of the agonizing pain of the needle digging into his forehead as his Carlos watched in terror. A tear slipped down his cheek and a small whispering sob escaped his lips.

“Cece… Cece, look at me.” Carlos leaned in to gaze deep into the host’s tearful eyes.

“We’ll be alright, honey.” He assured him. “A scientist is always--“  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Fine! I’ll get Daniel to take over with paperwork for now, I’ll see if our… friends have changed their minds about our charitable Strexcorp.”

Lauren’s heels clicked in perfect ½ time to that of the two heavy-footed Strex bodyguards who flanked her as she made her way down level by level into the facility, swiping her keycard at each floor. On the third floor down, she turned and strode down the hall until she reached room 37. Their newest assets had arrived and it was time to make good use of them. One radio host. One scruffy- looking scientist.

Lauren admittedly didn’t care much about the scientist. They had plenty of those far more productive than this imperfect specimen- It was the radio host who mattered to them. Palmer had the trust of all of Night Vale. It was Palmer who had rallied the town against Strex before. It was her duty to make sure that would not to happen again. They knew that the host would never willingly submit to Strexcorp without an…incentive...but if they had something that he cared about at their mercy… well, that’s what the scientist was for.

She placed her hand on the door, took a deep breath, and put on her award-winning Strex smile for their guests.

“How are we doing today? Have either of you had the common sense to submit to the wonderful light of our benevolent smiling god?” She grinned.

Her question was answered when Cecil hacked and spit directly into her face.  
She cleared her throat and grimaced for a moment.

“I suppose that’s answer enough,” She replied through clenched teeth, taking a moment to wipe her face with a handkerchief she produced from her blouse pocket.

“Ahem… well,” she resumed, her voice shaking slightly: “It appears that you have had a more difficult time than usual in warming up to us, Mr. Palmer”- She glanced at Carlos, “...and your… friend here. It seems you may need a bit more convincing.”

With that, she stepped over, and without missing a beat, she slammed Carlos in the chest with the long heel of her shoe. He yelped and doubled over, gasping for breath while Cecil screamed and tugged at the restraints holding him down.

“You MONSTER!” He screamed at Lauren, sobbing and pulling at the restraints. She grinned wickedly at them, kneeling over Carlos and grabbing him by the face, forcing him to look into her eyes. She smirked at Cecil, and spit into the scientist’s face. 

He choked, still winded from the blow, and she dropped him, letting his head hit the wall with a painful smack, and she turned back to leave with the guards. 

Cecil screamed at her retreating figure, continuing to thrash and yell after she had been escorted out. The minutes passed and he managed to wear himself out a great deal, quieting gradually until the only sounds in the room were Carlos’ rasping breaths and Cecil’s quiet sniffles.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s been almost two weeks since we’ve taken these subjects in, Ms. Mallard, about a week and a half since we closed that pesky third eye of Palmer’s, and yet…”

“They’re still set on being blatantly unproductive!” She paused, and added- “And refusing to smile.” She let out an exasperated sigh.

“More than half of the subjects submit within a couple of hours of initial reeducation. It’s almost unheard of for most to resist it over the course of several days.”

“We already know that the mood enhancers won’t work on that host. He’s different, just like you know who;” She gestured to Kevin, who was happily working on broadcasts in the next office over and humming along to the weather as he worked. “It’s quite a task convincing them, but… not impossible, apparently.”

She paused, and bit her lip in concentration.

“Ms. Mallard? I believe I have an idea.”

“Hm?”  
…

“Oh, now that may work…”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The door slamming open jolted the two from their fitful rest early the next day.

“Good morning!” The cheerful woman chirped, staying safely out of Cecil’s spitting range this time, setting down two glasses of orange juice beside them on the bloodstained floor. 

“Now it’s been quite a while, and it seems that neither of you seem any closer to accepting the smiling god into your hearts, or lungs, or any other critical organs as a matter of fact! We have to start somewhere, right?” She grinned, pulling out a cylindrical bottle full of small yellow pills.

“Now Cecil, I’m afraid these won’t do much for you, but as for your friend here…” She nodded at Carlos. “… It’ll help ease his path to our lovely smiling god!”

Carlos pulled away and managed a hoarse “Stop… please!” as Lauren emptied two tablets into the palm of her hand. One Strex drone held him in place, and the other clamped a hand down on his nose, so he was forced to open his mouth to breathe, and the pills were thrown in.

“Stop! Oh my sweet, sweet Carlos, STOP!!” Cecil struggled from his side of the room.

Carlos was forced to swallow and they let go as he gasped for air once more. Cecil gulped and looked into the panicked eyes of his lover.

“Cece… Cece listen to me.” Carlos scooted as close to Cecil as his restraints would allow. “No matter what happens now, just know that I love you, my honey- voiced- honey.” Cecil pulled as close to him as he could, and the two just managed to rest their foreheads on one another, in their last moment of peace they would have together. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

Cecil would do anything to forget the next series of events, for his own (and Carlos’) sake.

After their temporary embrace, Carlos leaned back against the wall, prepared for whatever was to come next. Several minutes passed as the two waited in tense silence. This silence was broken when Carlos let out a small yelp and tried to steady himself on the wall. Cecil watched in horror as he started to shake and seize, the pills dissolving into his system. For a moment, he was still. Cecil couldn’t see past the matted hair covering his face, but he watched intently anyways. The silence was unlike the one before… it was unsettling and overwhelming to the radio host who watched his love suffer in front of him.

He jerked back when he heard a small noise from the scientist, barely audible.

“Carlos? Are you… are you okay? What’s happening?” Cecil asked, his voice quivering as he spoke.

The noise came again, a terrifying sound- Carlos snickered. Cecil had heard the scientist’s small, forced laugh. It rose in volume and Carlos began to shake once more, this time with the all-consuming laughter. Cecil was scared. It didn’t sound right, it was horrible, it didn’t sound anything like his Carlos: it sounded like one of them. A silent tear streamed down Cecil’s face as the laughter continued, turning psychotic and twisted, nothing like his real laugh.

It wasn’t like the laughter that Cecil remembered: Carlos’ chuckle when Cecil would arrive in the most ridiculous, but adorable outfit to one of their outings. It wasn’t his embarrassed giggle when Cecil would flirt with him, or openly gush about him on air. Nor his truly genuine laughter that made everything right in the world, that could fix any problem, any-

No. This was not what was echoing through the dismal room now. This was so very wrong.

“Please, please hold on. For me!” Cecil yelled, Carlos barely acknowledging his words as he continued to gasp for breath. “Please, please,”

It was as if he’d said nothing at all.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carlos had had his share of panicked moments since being abducted by Strexcorp, but this was by far the worst. He tried his best to remain as stoic as he could manage, if only for Cecil’s sake. He wanted only to remain in the relative peace and comfort of his embrace, but he cared for his safety more than anything. Carlos would handle this on his own, and remain as aware as he could, vowing to resist for as long as he could physically manage. This was.. for himself. For science. For Cecil. 

He could feel just the slightest hint of the pills effect several minutes later. He gritted his teeth as his mind continued to replay his new phrase: 

“For myself. For Science. For Cecil. For myself. For science. For Cecil. For- AHh ha!”

The laughter forced itself out of his unwilling mouth, Carlos more terrified than ever, soon unable to stop himself as he laughed harder. It hurt. It hurt and he couldn’t breathe.  
He could see Cecil watching him with tear- streaked eyes, and he wanted so desperately to assure him- to say anything, but speech was impossible at this point. He heard Cecil yelling at him, telling him to hold on, but he could barely hear him over his own maddening laughter.

“... Hold on! For me!”  
Carlos repeated the phrase again, and again, and again, trying to occupy his mind with something other than the dull happy nothingness of the drug.

“ For myself for science for cecil for myself for science for cecil for cecil…. for cecil for cecil cecil cecil cecil…” He repeated in his mind until it was just his lover’s name over and over again. 

The howling laughter continued until spots began to dance in front of his vision from lack of oxygen, and he had a terrifying thought:  
“This is how I’ll die. Laughing like a maniac. Fantastic.”

The cool darkness began to surround him, and he almost felt at peace for a moment, before he spotted a small speck of light in the distance. He squinted, trying to make it out, but as he did it began to expand rapidly, and within an instant it was surrounding him, blanketing him in its’ warm glow.

The pain that Carlos had felt before, around his wrists, in his stomach, almost everywhere he could think began to melt away in the warm light. Even the fear he had had felt before seemed more and more inconsequential to him now. It was then that the booming voice spoke: 

“D o y o u b e l i e v e i n a sm i l i n g g o d ?”

It seemed to come from all around him, reverberating inside him, filling him up with its’ terrible light. He felt so very small in the being’s presence, he could barely contemplate how to form words. He managed a faint,

“Wh- who are you?”

“ I a m t h e b u r n i ng d e s e r t s u n , t h e b r i g h t h e a t o f a b o n f i r e ,”  
“I a m y o u r s m i l i n g g o d .”

Carlos didn’t have time to scream. The burning light began to devour him from the inside out. He could feel his thoughts, his memories, everything start to ebb away until only the burning light remained. 

The light was powerful, but Carlos would not give up so easily. All the pain, and the anger, and abstinence towards everything that Strexcorp and the smiling god represented, he channeled towards the immense being, and screamed, 

“ I WILL NOT BELIEVE IN A SMILING GOD!”

“ A f e i s t y on e I s e e . . . E v e n th e m o st re s i st a nt w i ll f i n d th a t th e y l o v e t h e sm i l i ng g o d m o st o f a l l !”

“For Cecil for Cecil for Cecil for Cecil….”

 

The burning increased, and Carlos was having difficulty thinking straight at all through the pain.

“ For Cecil....” he managed weakly as the light became so bright that he could see nothing at all. He could feel nothing else but the overwhelming smile on his face. It hurt so bad… maybe giving up was the only option he had left, he thought tiredly. he hoped so dearly that Cecil would understand… 

“ D O Y O U BE L I EV E I N A SM I L I N G G O D ?” The Deity boomed a final time-

Exhausted, hurting, and broken both physically and spiritually, Carlos could only say one more thing:

“... yes.”

and with that, he stopped fighting. He barely had the energy within him to scream as the god burrowed into him once more, devouring the last of what was left of his mind and his soul, and replacing it only with its’ bright, terrible light. 

For a moment all was still. There was a moment in which he felt nothing at all… but this moment soon passed as the euphoria of the new enlightenment he had found began to sink in.

...And he felt better than he had even before. He smiled again. This time it was the smile of his perfect self, burned of its impurities. He was perfect. He didn’t care where he was now… he couldn’t remember anymore. It was hard to remember much of anything at this point. He couldn’t remember what he was so afraid of in the first place.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil screamed when Carlos started to scream. He watched helplessly as his boyfriend seemed to almost light up from the inside, his eyes blackening in the extreme heat. Cecil turned and covered his face if only to spare his remaining vision from the blinding light that now filled the room.

Carlos smiled wider than he ever had before, the heat radiating from him starting to dim slowly, his permanent grin and hollow eyes remaining.

“Oh smiling god~ ” He cooed through his painful-looking smile..

Cecil continued to hide his face, too terrified to look at what had become of his lover. He sobbed harder at the candy- coated cheer in his voice. Quickly clicking heels once again signalled the return of the wretched vice president.

“Oh how wonderful!” Lauren gasped in delight then she saw the blackened eyes and impossibly large smile on Carlos’ face. “I just knew you’d come around!” Lauren chattered while unlocking Carlos’ shackles, which were partially melted from the extreme heat that had filled the room moments before. Now, let’s get you cleaned up! We have so much work to do! Maybe tomorrow you can try to convince your little radio host how wonderful seeing the light truly is!

Cecil gaped up at his former sweetheart who nodded and smiled eagerly at their captor, and turned to wave eagerly at him before leaving jauntily down the hall with only the receding clicks of Lauren’s heels to bid Cecil anymore goodbye.

Numbly, he sat alone in the room, truly alone now, without even his Carlos to accompany him, his ears still ringing from the horrible laughter he’d been forced to hear minutes before.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late. He knew this by glancing down at the only part of the old Carlos left- the watch he’d been given on their anniversary. The lateness of the hour surprised him, because this was the time that an unexpected guest came to visit him.

“Heyyy Cecil?” went the ever- cheerful drawl of his double.

Cecil blinked in the darkness at the figure.

“Kevin?”

He was both confused and somewhat terrified, as were the normal reactions to any close encounters with his double, but he didn’t bother trying to argue or escape - he clearly wasn’t going anywhere. The fact that they were in complete darkness in the underground room prevented the same amount of revolt and terror Cecil usually encountered when staring into Kevin’s hollow eyes and unnatural smile. In fact, in the darkness with little to do but listen, Kevin almost sounded like any other citizen.

“What are you doing here? Are you trying to convert me to your awful smiling god too?” Cecil hissed, glaring into the darkness.

“I’ve already done my best at that, Cecil. We both know that wouldn’t be productive at this point.”

Cecil grumbled in agreement, surprised at how calm Kevin seemed. He was glad that at least he understood. He heard the shuffling movement of the other host kneeling down to sit beside him. Cecil flinched, but relaxed, figuring the situation couldn’t get much worse than it already was. Kevin sighed, and then much quieter, said:

“I know what it was like to be in your shoes, Cecil. I was… I was once like you.

Cecil turned, questions forming on his lips, but he was once again interrupted by the host. 

I… I know that I’m in no position to criticize Strex, or the smiling god, or Night Vale, or anyone else. I forget that more often than I would like.” He fiddled gingerly with the keycard in his pocket. He seemed so quiet… melancholy even. Cecil stared quizzically into the darkness where he assumed Kevin was.

He sighed, quieter still. “It’s too late for me, Cecil. But… you can still do something about this.”

Cecil’s eyes widened as he felt the handcuffs behind him loosen as Kevin slid in the key.

“Tomorrow, when I wake up, I won’t remember any of this, Cecil. Strex will make sure of that. I’ll be the same old Kevin, the one that all those Strexcorp drones just love to hear on the daily news without fail. But you, you have a chance. To save yourself… to save your town…” Kevin’s voice cracked as he started to recall more...

Cecil stood shakily, bow legged from sitting so long, his eyes adjusting to the darkness just enough to make out Kevin’s face- He was not smiling.

He pondered this confusing man- who was him, but wasn’t- for a while, before taking the keycard Kevin held out to him, and stepping towards the door. Turning again, he meant to ask what would happen to his other-

“I’ll stay here.” Kevin said firmly. “We look enough alike that if anyone glances in here they’ll assume it’s you. Now go.”

“Why are you helping me?” Cecil asked, bewildered.

“I remember when I was the one who needed that help.” He shrugged.

Cecil gulped and mouthed the words “thank you”, hoping the other could make him out in the darkness, or if he could see at all with his blackened sockets. He turned finally to leave, when he felt a gentle hand tugging on his shirt. 

“I believe in you, Cecil.” 

Cecil nodded at his double with a weak smile before slipping out into the hall and making a run for it.

“... my smiling god.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took longer than Cecil thought to make his way up out of the basement floors, sliding on the bloodied floor and stepping on what most likely were human viscera and remains. He cringed at each step, praying to the void that no one heard his panicked breaths and wet footsteps.

He managed to get up to what he assumed was the ground floor after a good chunk of time had passed, and the sunlight was just starting to vent through the plexiglas windows on the sides of the building.

He desperately dashed around to look for Carlos, and an exit, both of which seemed to currently be hiding from him. He skidded around a corner, peering quickly into each side room he could see, hoping that suddenly his luck would turn around and he would spot his dear Carlos. He prayed that whatever they’d done to his mind was reversible, though the scientist would be blinded for sure…

He pushed away these stressful thoughts, as he had to focus on finding a way out. He’d worry about Carlos’ sight once they got out of here. He turned two more corners, but began to fear that he was making a large circle. He was about to turn back when he heard a familiar yelp-

“CARLOS?!” He yelled, no longer caring who heard him, only that they escaped alive. He sprinted after the sound of the voice to an easily missed hallway, at the end of which was: Carlos! And… and an exit!

“RUN! Cecil yelled, hoping that just this once, Carlos would listen to him, and to his surprise he did, and they both dashed towards the exit. They arrived at the end of the hall, and Carlos wrenched open the door, which Cecil plunged out of, panting and covered in several types of blood.

Sobbing in relief, Cecil reached out to hug Carlos, pulling him in to kiss him furiously. His tears after these many days were finally ones of joy, for he had his Carlos, and he had his freedom. He wrapped his arms around his sweetheart, truly happy for once and then…

And then he felt the blade in his back.

Cecil gasped, feeling the fresh blood drip down his back, seeping into his shirt. He panicked, choking and coughing up a fair amount of blood, struggling to free himself from Carlos’ iron grip, but he held him in place as the Strex guards flooded out of the building, surrounding them. He struggled to breathe with the blade stuck behind his ribs, scraping the bone, the sound echoing through his skull. 

“Wh… why?” He sputtered, blood in his mouth and dripping from his nose. He stared up into the hollow eyes of the only one he thought he could trust.

“I’m sorry Cece… It was just easier this way… for everyone,”

Black spots danced in front of his vision, and his vision blurred and darkened. His legs weakened and buckled below him, and he swayed in place. He barely felt the hands of the Strex drones pulling him away from the smiling figure.

“Soon even you too will see the light of a smiling god!”

Cecil grimaced at the cheerful but dark statement as he filtered out of consciousness for the last time. His Carlos…his dear love had done this; he knew that his scientist was fighting a terrible brightness, he only thought- maybe, just maybe his Carlos would win. With tear-filled eyes and a heart full of betrayal he uttered what his final words as himself- those which he’d always expected to be his last words, and finally were:

“Goodnight, Night Vale.”

“...Goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this is my first fanfic- I hope you all like the angst and pain that you intentionally put yourselves through in order to read fanfiction in the first place. Thank you so much for commenting whatever you think I could improve on, or just to say hey!
> 
> You can find the author at: alooxis.tumblr.com
> 
> special thanks to: lunarbath.tumblr.com, sugoiaries.tumblr.com, and thedevildreamsofghosts.tumblr.com, for helping edit!


End file.
